All Around Me

My brother was born today in 1948, he would’ve been 65 years old! 65 years old! He was 4 and a half years older than me. He died in 1993 at age 45 after battling AIDS that progressed rapidly for the last 2 years of his life. I miss him, but he’s all around me. He’s in the music I write about and listen to; He’s in the news tidbits I read about musicians and concerts; He’s in my son’s demeanor, gait and face; He’s in my heart and memory. My mom, my hero, took care of him, physically, mentally, emotionally; she was amazing during that time. “In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child.”JodiPicoult, My Sister’s Keeper. The 60s, an era that I love, also wrought havoc on families through drug usage and that’s how my brother probably contracted HIV. I remember being angry with him when he was last in the hospital and telling him I was angry and he could’ve had a good life; I don’t think he heard me or understood me; He had a form of dementia and was blind and looked 80 years old when he succumbed quietly. So sad. My eyes are tearing right now remembering this. I know my husband, son and daughter remember my brother and loved him very much. At his funeral, my husband referred to him as “an innocent,” my 8-years old son got up to speak (a complete surprise) and said how much he loved his uncle. My brother was the funniest person, a brilliant comedian, truly! He took me to see my first Richie Havens concert on 2nd Ave. in NYC at the former Anderson Yiddish Theater; my first Peter, Paul & Mary Concert at Carnegie Hall; my first Bruce Springsteen concert at the former Philharmonic Hall at Lincoln Center where the row he was sitting in with friends collapsed and sank!!!!!   Surely a night to remember!   So, this morning as I write this, my brother is all around me; in fact, has never left me and never will. RIP Bro’

We Remember Them…

 In the rising of the sun and in its going down,

We remember them;

 In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

We remember them;

 In the opening of buds and in the warmth of summer,

We remember them;

 In the rustling of leaves and the beauty of autumn,

We remember them;

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,

We remember them;

When we are weary and in need of strength,

We remember them;

 When we are lost and sick at heart,

We remember them;

 When we have joys we yearn to share,

We remember them;

 So long as we live, they too shall live

For they are now a part of us as

We remember them.

 from Gates of Prayer,

Judaism Prayerbook

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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